It lurks in the darkness with my fears;

It freezes my heart and consumes me with tears.

One by one they trickle down from an angelic surface.

Pouring out the sorrows buried within;

It rushes through the crevices of the skin.

The feeling seeps to the core, as it edges to the floor;

The traces of pain inside relinquishes as it appears as a sore.

Fallen victim, hidden behind allusions;

Installed with perfection, causing only confusion.

A mind gone sick and twisted must stop.

I yearn to grow within and to find the cure;

Maybe I found it, even though it’s not pure.

“They say it only takes one time to be fully addicted”

Ch 7 part 1:  Beauty through Broken Glass

It was egging me on, pleading with them to join in the fun again. It gently kissed my skin, giving me permission to go ahead. 

“It won’t hurt, release it.” It seductively whispered in my ear.

“I can’t do that, I can’t” I whispered back.

“One won’t hurt, you’re a big girl now Ashy.” It mocked. I looked down at my body. It stood laughing at me.

“Ashley, what kind of satisfaction do you get when you cut?” The therapist asked. I pondered the question, probing my mind for answers.

I sat there in silence.

“Ashley, what do you wish to do after school?”

“Well, I thought I would become a stripper.” I sneered

“Of all the thing to wish to do, why a stripper?” Curiosity peaked in her voice.

“Oh you know what they say about strippers.” I smirked towards her.

“I um don’t actually.” She shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

 I grinned before I continued.

My voice shifted seductively “Well, they like the pole between their legs, and it so happens I love the pole rubbing between my legs.” I paused before continuing and smiled at her

“I think having Sapphire for a name would be a turn on, don’t you think?” I leered towards her.

Her face dropped instantly, her eyes were glued to the floor. 

“Hmmm well, it seems I was right.” I laughed.

The rest of my hour we sat in silence.

“Okay, we’ll sit here until you’re ready to talk, do make note of this you will eventually talk. For right now I’m prescribing a few medications to help chemical balance you.”  

“The first drug is Wellbutrin, it’s an anti-depressant which will help with the severe mood swings and manic depression, the other drug is Zoloft which will help with the anxiety attacks.”

 She wrote me a prescription for each drug.

“Am I free to leave now?” I spewed

“Ye-” I was out the before she could finish.

I ran I didn’t know where to go or where I was going; fear overpowered me. The run was surreal; my mind had switched onto autopilot. The next thing I know I’m looking up and I was at the hospital.

The guilt was devouring me, it must have been the reason for me being here. I walked to Spencer’s room and heard a man’s voice. When she replied she sounded defeated, which perked my interest.