With Paula over at John's with their attorney, Emily went back to the hospital. She replayed everything Paula had said to her the last time. Combined with her already guilty conscience, a weaker person would have been lucky to to know what ward the patient was in. For this whole week, Emily had struggled and fought with her inner demons, her classmates leaving harassing voice messages, detoxification, psychological therapy, qand now she was taking another step towards getting better. But this step was about the size of the Grand Canyon in Utah.

By the time Emily made it to Franzi's door, Paula and John had finished their quiet argument. First, Emily tapped on the door with no response. Then, Emily knocked twice and Franzi replied, 'Come in.'

Emily came into the room with a heavy heart and a low head. She didn't approach Franzi. She just closed the door and stood against it like a statue. The room was quiet and Emily was scared. Looking into her gut, Franzi searched for the right words. What could she say to her friend after everything they'd been through? What could be said that wouldn't appear to be a psychiatric evaluation? After sitting in her bed and looking at the palms of her hands, Franzi looked at Emily at the door and made the first move by saying in a calm voice 'Hi.'

Emily looked at Franzi for a second, then dropped her eyes and replied, 'Hi.' Rubbing her nail tips together was a nervous habit. Emily was already on a different planet than Franzi but this was her way of blocking off all communication from home base.

Franzi looked curious when she said, 'Emily?' All Emily did was cross her arms over her chest with her head aimed down.

Franzi repeated, 'Emily?' Franzi got out of bed, walked over to Emily and said, 'Emily' with her hand on Emily's left bicep.

Emily started to raise her head up when Franzi's other hand touched her chin. By the time Franzi asked, 'What is it', Emily got ready to cry. She could still remember their fatal night at The Fasan and all the months before. Ashamed of herself, and wanting to be punished, Emily leaned forward into Franzi's arms. In response, Franzi hugged Emily and supported her head as she cried into Franzi's shoulder.

Franzi gently said, 'Shhh. Ssshhhh. It's okay. Let's it out. It's okay. Just let it out.'

Underneath her tears, Emily asked, 'Forgive mmm' then she stuttered and finished, 'meeee.' Her tears made way into her throat as she almost choked on the words.

Rubbing Emily's hair, Franzi said, 'Just let it out, Emily. It is all okay.'

Inside Franzi's shoulder, Emily asked, 'How? How can everything be okay?' Tightening her fists, Emily lightly fisted Franzi's chest. Franzi figured Emily was symbolically hitting herself. Emily's hits didn't hurt Franzi so she let Emily go on. Emily was still too sad to get out of Franzi's shoulder whenever Emily talked.

Talking into Emily's ear, Franzi said, 'Emily. Listen to me. I am not mad at you.'

Emily argued, 'You should be. Look at what I did to you.'

Franzi said, 'It wasn't your fault; the fire.'

Emily said, 'Not the fire! EVERYTHING! I treated you like SHIT  when you let me move in. I was even worse when I got started on coke! AND THEN, then I had to make YOU an addict as well! If you're not mad after all that, THEN WHAT THE FUCK WOULD I HAVE TO DO!?' After that, Emily fell on the floor and into Franzi's arms. Speaking against her sadness, Emily said, 'I'm..I'm a...a horrible person.' Then she broke out into Franzi's shoulder again.

Stroking Emily's hair, Franzi said, 'Emily. Listen to me. YOU are not a horrible person.' Franzi continued with Emily's face in her shoulder. 'Now, you are not a horrible person. You simply got tricked and then...there was an accident. That's all it was; it was JUST an accident.'

Emily shooke her head left and right in Franzi's shoulder and mumbled "No" over and over. 'Emily. Stop and listen to me.' Then Franzi lifted Emily face and said, 'Listen...to me.' Emily lowered her eyes and nodded "Yes" to comply. Then Franzi cradled Emily's head sideways to her chest. She wasn't going to let Emily hide her face inside Franzi's shoulder. When Emily's crying started to go down, Franzi talked to Emily.

'Try and hear me, Emily. It wasn't your fault. You didn't know what you were doing. Neither of us did. It just...happened.'